My Driving Force

Welcome to my first blog for Nourished VIKtory.

Over the next few months you will be able to get to know me and find out more about my story. But for now I’ll introduce my driving force…

My driving force…
On 1st January 2013 I anxiously took a pregnancy test… as I waited for the results to show up I paced backwards and forwards in the hallway…. trying not to alert my husband to my nervous tension.

To my absolute delight it was positive! I jumped with joy… smile from ear to ear…. my next nervous step was to tell my husband…. the words just couldn’t come out…. eventually I managed to tell him and he was over the moon!!!

By week 6 i had already purchased a car seat and pram bursting with excitement! I couldn’t wait to begin this journey.

The details of my pregnancy can wait for another day… on 16th August I delivered my first child Mr O <3!

Becoming a mother for the first time sure was hard but I adapted well to the challenges thrown my way.

In November 2015 I welcomed my second child into the world, simply perfect moment.

Here’s when the battles begun… I saw a different side of Mr O. I don’t think this was due to the arrival of another sibling into the house, but due to his age and health changes.

For months I would pull my hair out, raise my voice over and over with no response or understanding from Mr O.
He would continually kick, push and hit his baby sister and other children. I would separate him, discipline him, reason with him and then wait for him to calm down but he would just repeat the same cycle.
Ahhhh! What do I do?

I’m a very patient person by nature but his behaviour was pushing my limits. I was about to hit rock bottom.

That’s when a few things happened…
1- I took him for a doctor’s appt just for a check up for his cold that was ongoing.
The doctor prescribed some medication for an ear infection… and questioned why my child was so “quiet”. – I didn’t really give a response other than… he’s not this quiet at home.

At the end of that week I was searching for answers to his behaviour… Dr Google told me that a child that experiences ongoing ear infections can have behavioural issues.
My thoughts were “aha” I know what’s wrong with my child! He’s naughty because he’s had ear infections… makes sense!?!!

I booked a doctors appt for the next week so I could get a referral to see the ENT specialist.

When I was explaining to the doctor that we need a referral he was asking “why?” And asked more questions about my son’s behaviour…. I described his aggression and meltdowns ect.

The doctor said “I have 2 recommendations- you see a paediatrician or a psychologist”
He went on to say the paediatrician would look at things like Autism.

My response was “I work with kids, my son doesn’t have autism” (like I was a big expert!)

Anyway desperate to get answers I got a referral for a psychologist.

Our first session was just me sharing Mr O’s story and behavioural traits… and that “A” word popped up again… autism.

I had mixed feelings about this session. In fact I described the week after this session as being “the worst week of my life”

Usually an unemotional/emotionless soul I cried for the whole week. No one wants to hear that there’s something wrong with their child or that your child is “not normal”. I think the situation was made worse by my husband being in complete denial and not showing any support towards the situation.
Here I was spending every waking moment doing research on Autism and trying to move forward and got shut down as soon as I mentioned anything. I was torn!

Things did get better.

2- I purchased a ticket to a cooking workshop. I had contemplated it for weeks and thought I need to do this for myself. I need some “mummy time”.
I didn’t know it at the time but this event would be life changing.

I attended this workshop and fell in love with the hosts, the food and cooking. When I got home I made every recipe shown during this workshop! I began to listen to the podcast from the host of the workshop.
I listened to this mum tell her story of her child who had massive meltdowns and behavioural issues – so relatable to what I was currently going through!!! She went on to speak about additives and preservatives in food and how they are linked to behavioural issues.
Immediately after I went through my pantry, looked at the ingredients panel and threw everything out that resembled a bad additive/preservative.
I needed change in my life, I was going mental!

Over the next few days I investigated additives in food and began to replace our pantry contents with better choices.

Later in the week my son had a violent outburst (which left my daughter with a busted eye), followed by a massive tantrum and meltdown.
I was ready to give up, this was my rock bottom! I was broken.
My thought process was I’m doing everything I can – how can I fail sooo bad)…I was changing his diet, we were seeing a psychologist, a chiropractor, we have implemented strategies to help him cope, we shower him with love and opportunity.
What have we done so wrong???

What has changed? Why is he so angry and upset?

I put todays meltdowns down to his Yoghurt… that week I had purchased a new brand/ flavour of Yoghurt. I read the ingredients and was surprised.
Yoghurt is marketed to be healthy, Yoghurt with fruit… you can’t go wrong!
Needless to say I threw it in the bin and haven’t looked back.

12months on….
To say my sons behaviour has changed is an understatement, he has decreased his meltdowns, stopped self-harm and is developing into a beautiful little boy. We still have challenging times but 80% of the time things go smoothly.

My life has changed! Here I am starting a health coach course, writing my first blog.

If I could help just one parent overcome the struggles of child behaviour like I have done I would be happy… but I have a “driving force” that I want to share with everyone!!!

In life we need to go through the difficult times in order for us to grow, learn and change. I’m thankful I went through this tough time because I have learnt so much and I’m a better person because of it.

So thank you Mr O for being my Driving Force

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